1. |
Murder Me, I
02:51
|
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|
a hazey dream-like beginning
in a forest, in a hammock
staring up through the trees
so much quick affection
became so dirty
it was all fun and games
and "I'll love you forever"s
late nights spent laughing
mornings spent curled together
mid day sex
and late night adventure time
over ice cream
smiling so fucking hard with you
falling hard for you
once you got me so stoned and I paid such close attention to your smile
you were laughing, and all the while I was enamored
but the sparks that we lit
stalled to fading embers,
still fervor burned under it
and in a few short months
you were trapped in my house
you couldn't get out
cabin fever, got rough
your freedom seemed snuffed
with lost aspirations
and no transportation
we forgot our mutual imagination
you always mishandled my flaws
I always disregarded our fall
it was happening faster than
I could keep up
you were moving on
you'd be moving up
my love stuck deep down
inside my stomach
sick, worrying that
we would never share
our smiles again
I can't pretend
I don't want to kiss you
my insatiable hunger
to survive on your lips alone
but you'd be far from my arms
and you would find a new home
murder me or just don't go
|
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2. |
Murder Me, II
02:36
|
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|
I put on this front
that I'm happy, I'm not
it just sits in my stomach
tying up my guts with knots
it's like I felt
I could convince you
I'll be fine without you
but it's impossible to convince myself
when every move is a living hell
walking away from what I've held
so closely
I felt you within me
now without you
it's lacking
and I aim to find myself again
but what if he died
when she left him for dead
she's what made him alive
but she's living better off without him instead
so what if he dies
when she leaves him instead
for something that makes her alive
she saw that everything inside him had no worth when it's dead
|
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3. |
Murder Me, III
03:38
|
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|
it seems you loved me more
when I was just your fling
now we're back to the same old thing
spending days away
heavy breathing
quietly thinking you're gone
and then you come around again
you hold my hand like it's the
most important thing and you
caress my face, but as I lean in to kiss
you say we are reaching
unmarked territory
and you pull away
til you fuck me again
and everything's the same
just really wishing it was all the same
the ultimate plan is that you just go away
away into the haze
and the gray matter of my mind
so I only remember you when it rains
or when I have a blade, murder me
our love could be so tame
but burning underneath
we never acknowledged both of our
houses were in flames
and yet you'd be living in mine and my brain
pressing my face into the back of your neck
breathe your scent
taste what you were
forget where you are now
and then you moan for me
you're craving my hands
and I just cannot get away
you want my body
I can't stop me from giving you more, loving you more
and more than we've ever loved anyone before (and more and more and more)
just keep me as your fling
just want to know if it really meant anything
just keep me as nothing
murder me
|
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4. |
Murder Me, IV
04:32
|
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|
I try to walk away
but I'm pulling every single root out along the way
it really hurts to abandon you
it seems you give me no choice there's nothing else I'm able to do
because if I engage you, you go through these stages
of sweet loving graces into untapped rages
then I can't hold you
and I can't kiss you
I can barely talk to you
trying to be something new
maybe just a friend for you
that means I have to shed the shape of you from around me
but here I've shown you everything
and I have seen so much of you
it's a rabbit hole from the heart to the throat
that makes me thirst
trying to find a water source
other than this
I get wrapped up in it, drowning beneath
thoughts of your smiling eyes, hands and feet
an unrelenting tide pulling me back in
I can't remain outside of your bubble
because if I'm remotely near you
every bit of it claws at me
and here I am
diving back in and losing pieces of myself
as the roots grow so deep I can't seem to retrieve them anymore
I'm dissecting parts of myself, fuck
I've gotta gut this whole thing
it's a leech that's wasting my time
a belief that's feeding blind eyes
bloodletting me dry
that's why I have to leave you behind, leave it all behind
or this will just kill my mind
the me you've known has died
but then you'd bring me back to life
just murder me, murder me (it's just a dream, just a dream)
|
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5. |
Murder Me, V
05:44
|
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|
all I do
is fight the urge to call you up
to sing you a love song, I wrote for you
cause I want you back
but is that what we need
I think we both know
how lost we would be
cause I've completely lost myself
I've been trying to find him again
but all I can do
is fight the urge to talk to you
it seems all my mind does is think about you
and why am I living my life without you
maybe we were too alike
maybe you were right
why fight it
cause I thought my insecurities would be safe with you
I wanted you to hold them
and I wanted to hold yours too
I remember the last night you slept here
I had cold sweats but you held me anyway
the withdrawl was real
the addiction was sealed
back when "I love you" slipped out of your mouth
in the passenger seat of my car
as I dropped you off at your old house
I hesitated to say "I love you too", you replied "I'm sorry"
don't you ever be sorry.
because I loved you too.
I was just too scared to commit my heart to you then
because deep down I knew
even though I loved you
it might soon just fall through
so now all I do
is I sit and I wait
to forget about you
so I can move
a stone sinking to the bottom of a pool
will I hear from you?
goodbye
my sweet sunshine
I will miss that life
for he has died, goodbye
I'll keep you
in the back of my mind
as time
goes by
murder me murder me
|
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